Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
