I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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