So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
