the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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