batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
