Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
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