hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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