would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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