no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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