I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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