i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
false alarm, still single
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
