3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
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