i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
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