Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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