Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
