i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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