There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
