A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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