we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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