dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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