He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
this just has baby written all over it
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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