go do what you do best...puke behind churches
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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