He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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