Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
