i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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