last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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