Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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