Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
