I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
