Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
