Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
