You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
