Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
