I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
