Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Drake has all the answers
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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