wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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