when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
