wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
someone owes me an orgasm
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
