We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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