A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
