Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize