...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I need help removing her.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
we're chasing vodka with high fives
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
