how can u be prego again
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
