your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
