I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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