I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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