i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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