Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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