That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Randomize
