I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
