i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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