i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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