that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
