You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
