I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
