Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
