Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
