WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
