she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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