first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
