i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
