Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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