I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
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