I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize