Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
