The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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