I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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