i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
