I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Dating After Heartbreak
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been