how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.