Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?