i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
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my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
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I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..