idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
