the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The feeling are messing with the penis
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I could fuck to npr.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize