I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
