I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
